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A big ‘Congrats’ for Oslo’s commonsense!

By Mike Cunningham On October 2nd, 2014 at 12:17 pm

Olympic Demands  

London     Summer    2012                                                              Oslo            Winter          2022

Free traffic lanes for IOC members                                             Nope

Drinks with Queen, full access to palace                                  Nope

Free bar at all events                                                                      Nope

VIP Parties                                                                                          Nope

Diplomatic Status for IOC members                                         Nope

Free big BMWs for all IOC members                                        Nope

Nearly Everything paid for by Host Nation                               Nope

 

Erm, possibly well done; and does he take sugar?

By Mike Cunningham On August 30th, 2012 at 9:36 am

Apart from the Paralympic symbol looking remarkably like a welcoming message from the Jihadi games, I am personally waiting for the first commentator on Channel 4 to state that the contestants in the pool; or indeed any where else, are competing ‘on a level playing field’!

THERE’S A PERFECTLY REASONABLE EXPLANATION

By Pete Moore On July 31st, 2012 at 8:28 pm

The Brazilian girls think we’re out to get them.

The Brazilian women’s football team is fuming that British authorities failed to replace a broken down bus for more than five hours, stranding them on the side of the road the night before their big match against Team GB.

Some of the team members have told Brazilian newspapers that the delay by London Olympic organisers may have been a deliberate ploy to upset them on the eve of the game, which will be held at Wembley Stadium tonight.

Calm down girls. We’re British, ergo we don’t try to nobble the opposition. But transport fiascos? Someone should explain they’re in the global HQ for those.

THE OLYMPICS HAS ITS CHIPS

By David Vance On July 12th, 2012 at 9:21 am

As you know I have little time for the Olympics; It has become a de facto licensed drug taking fest to see who can cheat and run the fastest. But then there are the more draconian aspects of the Games like this….

Hundreds of food outlets at Olympic venues have been forced to take chips off the menu, because of a demand from sponsor McDonald’s. Olympic chiefs have banned all 800 food retailers at the 40 Games venues across Britain from dishing up chips because of ‘sponsorship obligations.’ The only loophole in the agreement, announced in a memo to staff, is that chips can be served with fish – safeguarding Britain’s most famous dish. But is seems the bosses have predicted an outrage about the decision, emphasising that the move was not backed by the food retailers.  The memo reads: ‘Due to sponsorship obligations with McDonalds, Locog have instructed the catering team they are no longer allowed to serve chips on their own anywhere within the Olympic park.

What an outrage that McDonalds can dictate in this way. Sure, they are paying money but then that is what the Games are all about.

Wrong Country?

By Mike Cunningham On May 26th, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I note that Luol Deng is presumed fit to play Basketball for Great Britain, or ‘TeamGB’ as the morons say.

 

How many would agree with me that, apart from South Sudan, his place of birth; his natural team should really be Australia?

How did I come to that conclusion?

 

 

Perspective

By Mike Cunningham On April 27th, 2011 at 1:28 pm

The word in the title has many meanings. One meaning is the means by which an artist gives depth to a picture by showing larger trees or figures in the foreground, and smaller ones in the presumed distance, in the same manner as we perceive things in the natural world. The other is choosing that which is more important to us, or indeed the nation, in times of worry or scarcity. It could be said that, by arranging to watch the Royal Wedding on television rather that trundling down to London in my motorised bath-chair, complete with attached side-car for my wife, the correct perspective has been achieved.

So the question is, by revealing my personal devastation at not applying for any Olympic tickets at all, never mind my greater upset at also missing the deadline for applications, are my words viewed within the correct perspective?

Oh aye?

By Mike Cunningham On March 15th, 2011 at 1:12 pm

 

Can’t Wait!

And neither can the – athletes, for whom every minute counts for training and competing. They require consistent journey times to get them from ‘bed to starting blocks’;

technical officials, such as judges, timekeepers and other people who play vital roles in setting up and running competitions;

the media covering the Games, both print and broadcast, including the technical staff needed for live broadcasts from multiple venues, so that the estimated four billion worldwide audience can follow the action;

the International Olympic Committee (IOC) and International Paralympic Committee (IPC), as well as the World Anti-Doping Agency, Medical Commission, medal ceremony officials and International Sports Federations; and,

Games partners, who provide £1 billion of Games funding and contribute to the operational running of the Games.  (Translation….Free-loaders and Executives’ wives on company Freebie rides!)

Druggies, Unite!

By ATWadmin On September 14th, 2010 at 5:11 pm

We are all constantly reminded that one of the stances of the 2012 Olympics is that no Drug Cheat will prosper in Stratford. No one convicted of a drug offence will be allowed to compete, take part, pant, throw, jump, waddle, splash or run. Thats final! Well, nearly final!

But you can manage the Anti-Drug testing regime for weight-lifting despite testing positive for steroids in 1994. Seems as if the officials are looking at the imposition of a ‘set a thief to catch a thief’ regime in the notoriously drug-spattered weight-lifting area of the Games.

Next we’ll have banned runners taking a parallel path to the actual athletes, and shouting out, “He’s on Nandrolone” or “It’s not working for her” as the various races progress!


Can’t wait!

One and a half cheers then!

By ATWadmin On March 3rd, 2010 at 9:43 am

In Bradford, Shazah Ali stepped down from the open-topped bus which had carried him on his triumphant tour of his home city’s streets. The two mile trip, which of course had been sponsored by Bradford City Council at huge expense, involving a seventeen-car column of supporting staff, family members, and council employees who fancied the afternoon off, and which also involved huge queues of cars, buses and lorries which just wanted to go about their business, had been judged a complete success.

Mr. Ali, as most will of course know, had passed a significant milestone in his life in Britain. His stay in this country had begun as he smuggled himself into Britain in the back of a returning truck on a Eurotunnel freight train along with seventy-five other bogus asylum-seekers. Destroying his forged documents, as he had been advised by a well-funded Charitable Organisation to do so, he then had presented himself to the police, and after an interview lasting a total of seventy-five seconds, had been issued with the necessary documents so he was able to claim the welfare benefits due him. His legal team, also of course legal aid-funded, had successfully argued his case through thirteen tribunal and court hearings, and had convinced the authorities that his case was worthy and truthful, and he had won the right to live in Britain, despite the Security Services statements and well-founded fears that he was in fact a terror sympathiser at least, if not actually an activist! His family, including four veiled wives and thirteen children, who also had come out of hiding and pressed their claims for asylum on the grounds that they really missed him, were also on the bus!

So she isn’t the only one who really deserves an open-topped bus ride, waving to her adoring admirers and supporters!

Play up, and play the Game?

By ATWadmin On February 28th, 2010 at 9:40 am

The total cash grabbed by the winter side of the Olympic TeamGB was a mind-boggling total budget of £5.822m from UK Sport for the Vancouver 2010 Olympic cycle. The total of medals on offer, of gold, silver and bronze for all events was 75.

 

The total medal haul for the British team was ONE!

 

Does anyone of the ATW readership believe a) we have got value for money, and b) should we have bothered?