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THE CLEGGERONS TAKE A BEATING

By Pete Moore On May 3rd, 2013 at 10:41 am

What fun!

Labour held the South Shields parliamentary constituency in yesterday’s by-election. That’s no surprise. It’s a place where a flesh-eating disease would win if it came with a red rosette. They could hold the seat even though their vote collapsed by 42% from last time. The interesting point is that nutter/racist/fruitcake UKIP man came second with 24% of the vote, ahead of the sensible Tory.

Even better was the LibDem coming 7th, polling just 1% (that’s one per cent), being behind an Independent, and Independent Socialist and the BNP candidate. With 156 fewer votes the LibDem would have come behind the Monster Raving Loony Party – superb.

A bad night for the establishment parties, and that’s always good.

London marathon…a Prophesy

By Mike Cunningham On April 21st, 2013 at 9:37 am

 

East & Central London hospitals and Emergency areas across the Capital will be overwhelmed with a huge influx of some seven hundred-odd marathon runners, all brought in at ultra-high speed by Paramedics and ambulances. All the patients will be admitted with notes stating that the diagnosis is a probable heart attack; as each patient was seen to clasp his chest with his hand as they crossed over the finish line. Only one patient will actually be admitted to the hospital for treatment, as the rest were able, once they had recovered their collective breaths,. to confirm that they were just trying to comply with the proposal that each runner held his or her hands to their heart as a symbol of solidarity with the Boston marathon casualties.

Please do not misunderstand me. I, and probably millions of others around the world, are aghast at the random ferocity unleashed upon unsuspecting runners and crowds of supporters when the bombs exploded without warning in Boston. But we simply do not feel the need to express our regret collectively, publicly, or with any flourish at all. What does the proposed wearing of black ribbons achieve? Will the injured recover faster? Will the family of that small boy, itself ruptured by more horrific injury, be comforted by the fact that lots of people held their hands to their hearts as they crossed a marathon finish line? Will the fanatical Muslim jihadis, already settling down in their madrassas for an afternoon’s bomb-making class and koranic propagands session be given pause for thought because a large bunch of sweaty clowns running in a road race make a ‘gesture’?

I doubt it very, very much indeed!

ATW COMEDY CORNER

By Pete Moore On April 13th, 2013 at 8:07 pm

I can’t deny that this week has sparked a little nostalgia in me for the glorious 80s (its rubbish chart music aside), the age when Britain bloomed again after the dark, socialist winter that came before. Besides, Spitting Image did make me laugh –

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IE6Fvc4s_M

I remember some pompous talking head at the time say that Spitting Image was dangerous because it made fun of the politicial process. Utter nonsense. Politics and all politicians should be mocked mercilessly, always.

Modern, fast deliveries to schools

By Mike Cunningham On February 9th, 2013 at 11:40 am

ahorse

 

 

To be perfectly honest, when faced with the school meals placed before me when in my youth, I always thought we were eating Shergar’s great-great grandfather even then.

McKINNON 2 : 0 THE STATE

By Pete Moore On December 14th, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Comes the truly excellent news that Gary McKinnon will not face any charges in his homeland. Having beat the extradition rap already, he’s home free at last after more than a decade of psychological torture.

Keir Starmer QC, the Director of Public Prosecutions, concluded it was not practical to make the 46-year-old stand trial here for what are alleged crimes against America. The decision effectively ends a 10-year legal battle by Mr McKinnon, who has been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome and depression. His family is now going to lobby US President Barack Obama to issue a full pardon to end once and for all the risk of extradition.

Don’t worry about that last one. Just never visit the US. Have a great weekend. I’ll be raising extra beers this evening to him, and two fingers to the paranoid control freaks who lost.

From a view to a kill.

By Mike Cunningham On November 21st, 2012 at 10:49 am

 

Whilst not applauding his actions, and also hoping that you would perhaps forgive my choice of words, but ‘I can see his point of view’

 

MIND THOSE POPPIES, CITIZENS

By Pete Moore On November 12th, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Another facebook-armed twit’s been arrested, this one not for burning one, single poppy but for posting the image on facebook. Yep, it’s our old friend “malicious telecommunications”. Thanks, Tories.

Kent’s heroic constabulary report that a number of eagle-eyed citizens – give them a medal – made complaints yesterday when the terrible vision appeared. The boys in brown blue heroically and immediately swooped to protect society, detaining the dangerous criminal overnight.

Poppies are symbols of our hard-won liberties to live free of the kind of police oppression which can see you locked up for no good reason elsewhere. Learn that lesson well and mind how you go, citizens.

REMEMBER, THE STATE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

By Pete Moore On October 18th, 2012 at 4:41 pm

“Completely unprovoked, the youth punched Angus before beating him around the head with his crutches and then leaving him bleeding on the ground.”

“Despite identifying his attacker, who is known to the police, Angus and his family were told it was ‘not in the public interest’ to prosecute the 17-year-old.” If the animal had posted an offensive comment on Facebook or scribbled it on his t-shirt, he’d have really been in trouble then. I sincerely hope that the next person he attacks (and he will) is a Crown ‘Prosecution’ Service lawyer.

WAR ON BENEFITS CHEATS ABOUT TO END

By Pete Moore On October 18th, 2012 at 1:29 pm

The corruptocracy’s back in the saddle, trousering the loot and – again – trying to keep the peasants from knowing what they’re doing with our money. Why do we allow them to piss on us like this? Oh that’s right, we have to pay our taxes apparently.

Guido has it right. They’re simple frauds, but they’re schemes which would see you or me banged up if we did the same: “If these people were claiming housing benefit “Rent Swapping” like this would fall into the category of benefit fraud plain and simple, it is in the parlance of welfare fraud investigators a “contrived tenancy” punishable by up to 10 years imprisonment. Stay tuned. There is more to come…”

Note that it’s Bercow again pissing on us (extra tar and feathers for him, come the day). The middle class voters of Buckingham really disproved any link between wealth and intelligence when they chose this knob over Farage at the general election.

MIND WHAT YOU SAY, CITIZENS

By Pete Moore On October 9th, 2012 at 7:41 pm

For committing no crime, but for posting heartless comments on facebook about the missing girl Alice Jones, an idiot gets twelve weeks in prison.

For intimidating, harassing, abusing and hitting his girlfriend – in a sustained campaign of domestic violence and following recognition by the judge that it was “not a run-of-the-mill case of domestic violence” – the TV presenter Justin Lee Collins gets 140 hours community service.

Just as well he didn’t say something about her on facebook. He’d have really been in trouble then.

UPDATE: Azhar Ahmed (what d’you reckon?), for posting on facebook that “all soldiers should die and go to hell” after six British soldiers fell in Afghanistan, gets 240 hours community service. He’ll breeze through the 140 hours when he gets done for smacking his daughter about.

Ain’t the law great?