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IT’S COME TO THIS

By ATWadmin On January 7th, 2010 at 9:04 pm

Circle the wagons, King Midas In Reverse is looking for something to do:

Councils revealed they were being forced to spread grit more thinly on Britain’s frozen roads as Gordon Brown held talks with the managing director of Salt Union, the Cheshire-based company which supplies two-thirds of the country’s salt for gritting roads.

And he’s brought his friends:

Transport Minister Sadiq Khan said the government was working with councils, devolved administrations and the Highways Agency to help salt-suppliers prioritise deliveries.

May God have mercy on us all.

 

TOP GEAR TOP SHOW TOP TV

By ATWadmin On December 28th, 2009 at 9:09 pm

Did you enjoy the blast through Bolivia last night? By golly I did. It’s the only way to tour South America in my view – from your sofa, beer in hand, watching the Top Gear boys do it. Which reminds me that I meant to mention:

The motoring show Top Gear was today named the nation’s favourite television programme of the decade.

A fitting choice for these tree-hugging, po-faced, politically correct times; a programme which celebrates fun and freedom and which sticks two fingers up each week to those who deserve it. You can conclude a few things from this result, one of which is that British mischief and civil society aren’t dead yet.

HANGING ON THE TELEPHONE

By ATWadmin On November 24th, 2009 at 9:39 pm

WHAT is the point of a Crown minister?

Bob Ainsworth, the defence secretary, has blamed Barack Obama and the United States for the decline in British public support for the war in Afghanistan.

Mr Ainsworth took the unprecedented step of publicly criticising the US President and his delays in sending more troops to bolster the mission against the Taliban.

Since ministers exist now to go where Brussels and the White House direct, it cannot be long until Britons forget what it is to govern ourselves in our own self interest.

A VERY PECULIAR BLOKE ON THE BEACH

By ATWadmin On November 20th, 2009 at 6:56 pm

D-DAY piper to be honoured by the French.

Bill Millin, now 86, tried to raise the morale of incoming troops with his tunes, as shells exploded overhead and machinegun fire raked Sword Beach.

The picture of the 21-year-old commando became one of the enduring images of the landings which paved the way to Hitler’s defeat in the Second World War.

Now he is to be immortalised in a life-sized statue by the people of Colleville Montgomery, which he helped to liberate in 1944.

 

Quite right too. It’s the weekend here and my blood pressure can’t take much more politics. So tonight I’ll be raising a few to Piper Bill, the mad bugger. Apparently Millin played “Hieland Laddie” stepping off the landing craft, “Road to the Isles” on Sword Beach, then at the Pegasus Bridge it was “All the Blue Bonnets Are Over the Border” followed by a very brief “Nut Brown Maiden” he played for some French Ladies, cut short by a heavy mortar barrage.

Some time later, German snipers admitted they didn’t target him because they thought he was mad. They may have had a point. Millin was portrayed in the 1962 film The Longest Day, by Pipe Major Leslie de Laspee, the official piper to Her Majesty The Queen Mother –

ATW NOTICE TO THE WOMEN OF BRITAIN

By ATWadmin On November 11th, 2009 at 6:49 pm

Decorate your home before and not during pregnancy, otherwise the police will suspect that you’ll be an unfit mother and they will report you to the social services.

 – Really

CALL THAT A GAFFE?

By ATWadmin On October 30th, 2009 at 9:06 pm

PRINCE EDWARD has upset someone in Australia after suggesting that the death of a boy during a Duke of Edinburgh Award exercise had made the scheme more popular. Rubbish of course, no-one can be upset by his entirely sensible opinion. Boys love risk and a hint of danger, it’s nature’s way.

No, for a real gaffe we must go to the Gaffmeister General himself, Edward’s old man the Duke of Edinburgh.

Informing British students in China that if they stayed there much longer “they’d all be slitty eyed” is a gaffe; asking of a blind woman, “Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?” is a gaffe; telling the President of Nigeria, clad in traditional robes, “You look like you’re ready for bed” is a gaffe; enquiring of a student who’d been trekking in Papua New Guinea, “You managed not to get eaten, then?” is a gaffe, and asking a Jock driving instructor, “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?” is a … erm, fair question really.

Don’t try it Eddie, against your imperious father you’ll only be an amateur.

WHY HAVEN’T I EMIGRATED YET?

By ATWadmin On October 28th, 2009 at 6:56 pm

LIFE in Britain continues to surprise and delight.

Ten minutes ago I got in from work to find a letter waiting for me from the county magistrate’s court.

I know what you’re thinking: “What have you done, Pete, you absconding criminal fugitive scum?”

The honest truth is, I haven’t a clue. I haven’t had any contact with this bunch since the rozzers did me for speeding four years ago and since then I’ve been the world’s slowest driver. Even if I have done something you’d think I’d find out about it between the act, being charged, being summonsed and being found guilty.

But no, I had no idea. Until this evening I was completely unaware that the state is after me for anything at all. I find out something’s up only after a warrant has been issued for my arrest. I still don’t know what I’m supposed to have done, the letter doesn’t say. Well come and get me you bastards, and do you mind awfully letting me in on my crime? 

Bah.

Welcome to Britain 2009 – mind how you go.

ATW PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

By ATWadmin On October 28th, 2009 at 12:36 am

I’m coming across a lot of posts on motoring fora about rozzers in unmarked cars trying to provoke people into “competitive” driving. I don’t know if it’s another planned “milk the driver” campaign or just a coincidence, but either way, be warned that the fucktards are out there, driving like dicks to take your money off you.

Mind how you go.

A REMINDER: YOU ARE FREE ALWAYS TO PROTEST

By ATWadmin On October 26th, 2009 at 5:24 pm

ONE could easily be lulled into forgetting that a Briton is free to protest always in his own land. Certainly we’re intimidated into not protesting now, not when the Police rebrand thousands of perfectly lawful protestors as “domestic extremists” and go to such great lengths that the likes of comedian Mark Thomas find themselves on something like this:

There he is, Suspect H, on a list of thousands the state thinks are not to be trusted, even though he’s committed no crime nor likely has come close to doing so.

It’s a list which is held and administered by the Association of Chief Police Officers, a private limited company with no lawful or defined police powers. In marrying the state and private interests against our liberties, you don’t get much more fascistic than that.

I sincerely hope to find myself on the list. What an honour to be dubbed a “domestic extremist” by these totalitarian scum.

ON THIS DAY …

By ATWadmin On October 25th, 2009 at 8:03 pm

ST CRISPIN’S DAY, 1415, Henry V’s English Army demonstrated what enormous balls they had by inflicting a decisive defeat on on a larger French force at Agincourt despite being tired, hungry and ill after the long march from Harfleur in Normandy.

AND on this day, 1854, the Charge of the Light Brigade took place at Balaclava during the Crimean War when the Light Brigade demonstrated what enormous balls they had in charging directly at the main Russian artillery.