There will be another attack on our country by a group of home-grown fuzzies and rag-heads backed by the misguided fanatics of the Islamic brotherhood, more serious words shall be spoken by the spineless politicians who are supposed to be spearheading the Nation’s protection, and nothing else concrete shall be achieved; as any steps to combat this insidious army which might be proposed will be immediately slung out by the judges who have only recently discovered their power to rule this land!

‘Our Dave’ will make more supine and silly statements, designed to make his brand of ‘Conservatives’ more acceptable to his idea of electability. These will be followed by one of two things; a speedy ‘putsch’ by old-time Tory heavies, led by David Davis or the sudden spread of U.K.I.P., both as a political party and as an alternative to the truly-cheesy crowd who now run the Conservatives!

More British and American soldiers and airmen will die, both in Iraq and in Afghanistan. The British deaths, most of which would be totally avoidable if the servicemen had been provided with upgraded equipment such as body-armour, working radios, or mine-protected vehicles, will be followed by solemn words from sleazy politicians who haven’t got a clue about the Defence forces they have so stealthily deprived of both money and support! Iraq will maunder on, with both America and Britain desperately hoping that their schemes to provide ‘democracy’ to a region which doesn’t understand the first thing about what ‘democracy – rule by the entire body of citizens’, actually means. Instead of accepting the ‘status quo’, and facilitating partition between Kurds, Sunni and Shia; they will continue to bolster the ‘Government’ and the ‘Parliament’ which dare not convene anywhere outside the heavily-fortified ‘Green Zone’ in Baghdad!

Devolved Government in Northern Ireland will still remain tantalisingly absent!

Gordon Brown will stop hiding behind the words ‘stealth-tax’ and institute more blatant confiscatory taxes on everyone bar senior politicians and members of the Labour Party.

At least two elderly female protesters will be served with A.S.B.O.’s after sniffing scornfully but loudly near the Palace of Westminster.

Jeffrey Archer will produce yet another atrociously-written book which will immediately sell-out of the ten re-printings. (Just plain jealous, not of the writing, but of the money!)

The 2012 Olympic Park construction shall commence, but will be brought to a complete halt by union action who are protesting at the lack of black, limbless, lesbian single-parent mothers on the boards of the main construction companies!

The prison population will suddenly and dramatically decrease, as the first Lib-Dem death squads get some practice in, before turning on the Mighty Ming!

John Prescott will give his resignation speech, but will die very shortly afterwards! Autopsy will reveal that, after many years talking through his arse, use of his mouth was too much of a strain for his system!

Cherie Blair will be discovered using her own money to pay for a holiday! Tony will be heard pleading that mercy be shown!