First, I’m left handed —  ATW’s new left-a-centric format fits me like a tea cozy. 

Second, I’m like Jamie Lee Curtis in  ”A Fish Called Wanda.” (You remember her…don’t you?)

“Un osso bocco bologneses…mozarella…parmagianna…gorgonzola! Benito Mussolini! Volare!”

A little French (or Irish) accent… my brain melts.

So, when a friend emailed me this Bongo Bong video clip it had the predictable effect on me.

Now, I know that some of the heart breakingly beautiful words in French starting  at 2:39 actually mean “I don’t love you anymore.”  And, I  also know that the political philosophies of the singers are probably a little bit to the left of President Obama’s dear Reverend Wright.

But, none of that really matters. This is still a very pretty song:

ATW has gone all cultural, what with all this Shakespearean talk in recent days, and so I thought I would comment you give this a listen, it’s such a touching piece of music.

Stranger and stranger.

“A woman who was given an Asbo banning her from making too much noise during sex has been arrested by police for breaching the order – just two days after it was imposed. Caroline Cartwright was served the anti-social behaviour order on Friday after magistrates found her guilty of breaking an initial noise abatement order.”

Now since when did it become a criminal offense to be overtly vocal when having conjugal rights? It would sure as heck could be very annoying for the neighbours but I can’t see how it is criminal, can you?

The media, in their usual brainless fashion, all agreed that the announcement by the Chancellor that the Government will be putting up £2000 towards anyone wanting to trade in a ten year old car against a new one (or at least 12 months old) was a jolly good wheeze,

Except, it turns out that all is not as was presented by Darling.

Mark Wadsworth has the insight…

“It turns out that it won’t be a £2,000 voucher after all, the ‘government’ (i.e. the taxpayer) pays £1,000 and “the car industry will have to contribute £1,000 to the grant … Larger and more expensive cars already tend to carry discounts of around £1,000 – meaning that half of today’s £2,000 grant will already be priced in for many vehicles.” (see e.g. The Graun)  In other words, the much vaunted £2,000 is now £1,000. So the vouchers would only be taken up by people who own second hand cars worth less than £1,000 (or else they’d sell their car and put the proceeds towards a new one), of which there are probably a fair few (a million? half a million?) but they are hardly the people who can afford to or wish to buy a new car, or else they wouldn’t be driving round in an old banger*.

That’s how it is with this dying government. All spin and froth – no substance, no idea. Destined to go into opposition next June and thank goodness for it. 

First there was the ‘wee fee’, then the charge for the privilege of checking-in, now it seems budget airline Ryanair has finally tipped the scales by announcing it is considering a fat tax.

According to the airline, it was the consumer who voted for this fat tax on its website after it launched a competition giving customers the chance to win free flights by coming up with strange new ideas to save or make the company money. Around 100,000 passengers took part in the online competition and of those 30,000 (29%) voted for a fee for overweight passengers. A quarter voted to charge €1 for toilet paper — with Mr O’Leary’s face on it — and 24% voted to pay €3 to smoke in a converted toilet cubicle.

In a way, they have a point. But how will they know what passengers weigh? Can’t see people stepping on the scales only to be told they are obese and need to pay extra, can you? And what if you very thin – do you get discount?

There are at present two major threats to Peace in this troubled world which we inhabit. The first is of course the ever-present threat from the forces loyal to Islam, and the multifarious threads therein; and the second is one definitely of our own making. I refer of course to the Communist People’s Republic of China, where a few geriatric despots rule over the fate of One and a Quarter Billion people. Check out the BBC pages which show the Peoples Liberation Army Navy flaunting their shiny new toys; the subs, destroyers and submarines in a 60th anniversary floating challenge to the West, and America in particular.

Now we all have read how successful China has been as a trading nation, and the great leaps forward in both the vast numbers of factories which produce all these goods, as well as the standards of living of some of China’s population, but has it ever occurred to you, as you sit back in your Chinese-manufactured armchair, watching your Chinese-made television upon which is being shown a Chinese-manufactured DVD, that there has been a price to pay for all of these things. As I have said many times before, there are no bargains in this world; no cheap items which have not been produced for a hidden price, and that price is made of your money and your gullibility. A goodly proportion of the factories which so effortlessly produce equipment which used to be produced just down the road from where you live are owned by the Chinese Military, and part of the vast profits which line the Communists’ wallets go straight towards equipping a modern Navy, an Air Force and the largest Army on the planet!

America’s military budget is under attack from the Obama administration, because we all understand that the soldiers, sailors and airmen are easy targets for a bunch of penny-pinching liberals, who want to spend the American tax dollars elswhere, so they want to cut, and slice, and pare away at the military becauser they detest that same miltary! Just as the Labour government here has sliced and pillaged the British Defence budget, the new kids on the Obama block are already slicing away!

In 1937, Great Britain had virtually no front-line aircraft, either defensive or offensive, and it was by the greatest good fortune that Desmond Morton, the agent of the Secret Intelligence Service (MI6) who briefed the then backbencher Winston Churchill about the threat of German rearmament all through the 30s, and allowed him to worry the Defence establishment to get started on some Defence structure.

America is the only Nation which has even the capacity to stand up to the Chinese Reds, and if the Obama ‘doves’ get their way, they won’t have the capacity for much longer, mainly because there won’t be any money for the new stuff, and once the old gear wears out; Case Closed!

AYE, God certainly is an Englishman to go by the spring sunshine that bathes our land today – glorious.

Have a very good one whatever you’re doing.

I shall be marking the day by doing what generations of Anglo Saxons have done to make our nation great -yep, battling for liberty, enterprise and the capitalist way at work.

But I may raise the odd pint or six of something warm and frothy tonight.

Smarm, smirk, lick, lick, genuflect, polite query!

            Rambling yet sincere reply, straight off list of replies to very silly queries

Smarm, lick, lick, crawl, genuflect, curtsey; another query!

            Memorised but meandering reply, not answering query at all!

Grovel, lick, genuflect, smarm, smirk; third in list of pre-arranged queries!

            Generalised reply, not really covering query, but got to be careful, someone may be listening!

Smarm, grin, query with a small barb in tail, just to prove interviewer is doing job!

            Reply, carefully avoiding straight answer, and again in generalities!

Incisive question, inviting reply which fulfills all of interviewers’ dreams of smearing detested ruling Government.

            Anodyne reply from very tired medical man, who unfortunately is aware of interviewers’ track record!

Second incisive but also leading question from programme anchor, again trying to get medical man to implicate Government in atrocities!

            Another reply from medical man, stating that he has never been any where near actual fighting, but instead treating terribly wounded people.

Third query, again inviting medical man to be very critical of Government forces, press policy and ‘human rights’ record.

            Medical man’s reply indicating that all he knows about is that it is heart-breaking to treat youngsters who have blast and bullet injuries!

Interviewer’s wrap-up statement laying blame for all deaths, injuries and ‘Rights’ violations at feet of detested Government!

As radio is totally an auditory experience, I thought I would give a word picture of what was actually happening in the Today studio during the interviews with a) Alistair Darling, Labour’s Chancellor; and b) the interview with a Medecin Sans’ Frontieres surgeon operating in central Sri Lanka, where his hospital is treating the casualties from the struggle between the terrorist Tamil Tigers, whom incidentally the Beeb likes very much; and the Sri Lankan government forces, who are trying to wipe the Tigers off the face of the planet!

Interesting and illuminating to watch, as it were, the Beeb in all it’s prejudices!

Credit where credit is due.

I read that US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, has come out (whoops) saying that Pakistan is a “mortal threat” to the world. Her blunt warning to the Pakistani government and people came as Taliban fighters took over the north-western Pakistan district of Buner, 60 miles from the capital of Islamabad, and openly patrolled its streets. Last week, the Taliban imposed sharia, or strict Islamic law, in the neighboring Swat Valley as part of a peace agreement with the government.

Clinton is right to identify Pakistan in this way  – Ive been saying it for ages – and I wish our own gutless eunuchs in government had the same guts to state the obvious.

But, having said that I agree with Clinton, the bigger question is what will Obama actually do about it? The much vaunted policy of “engagement” is going to end in divorce so what then? It is one thing to be successful in gaining power, it is quite another being able to exercise it effectively. 

THIS  is what our police have been reduced to.

The hit squad had prepared their raid long in advance. At 10am eight police officers, some in anti-stab vests, joined three council employees on the doorstep of the Bamboo Joint takeaway. Their mission?

To stamp out the practice of selling jerk chicken within 400 metres of a secondary school.

Now then, regardless of whether one thinks kids should eat Caribbean food, the very idea that a local Council can close down a businesson the grounds that they don’t approve of the sort of FOOD that it sells is an outrage, a perverse restriction on private enterprise and a curtailment of choice for citizens. The owners were given three days to close down. How bad is that?

Enlisting the police to enforce this fascist tyranny is even worse. We have morphed into a police state under Labour, with motorists and fast food proprietors now public enemy number one. The jerks that we needto be concerned about are not found on menu board of the cafe concerned, but in the offices of the Council concerned which launched this raid on a carry-out because they deemed it unhealthy. 

This country does not just need a change of Government, it needs a revolution. We once more need to assert OUR rights and liberties and throw off the suppression of the scum in power.