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By ATWadmin On October 28th, 2009

LIFE in Britain continues to surprise and delight.

Ten minutes ago I got in from work to find a letter waiting for me from the county magistrate’s court.

I know what you’re thinking: “What have you done, Pete, you absconding criminal fugitive scum?”

The honest truth is, I haven’t a clue. I haven’t had any contact with this bunch since the rozzers did me for speeding four years ago and since then I’ve been the world’s slowest driver. Even if I have done something you’d think I’d find out about it between the act, being charged, being summonsed and being found guilty.

But no, I had no idea. Until this evening I was completely unaware that the state is after me for anything at all. I find out something’s up only after a warrant has been issued for my arrest. I still don’t know what I’m supposed to have done, the letter doesn’t say. Well come and get me you bastards, and do you mind awfully letting me in on my crime? 


Welcome to Britain 2009 – mind how you go.

41 Responses to “WHY HAVEN’T I EMIGRATED YET?”

  1. I will send you a cake with a file in it.

  2. Maybe they have been monitoring your posting on ATW.

  3. Don’t think that this does not happen – aided and abetted by various trolls, stalkers and snitches over the past years. Bet the ranch on it.

  4. Pete

    Didn’t you boast proudly that you don’t pay your TV licence . Maybe that’s what it’s all about. It’s the same amount of money isn’t it ?

  5. Colm –

    It may be I’ve been done for not stumping up the telly tax, but no inspectors have even knocked on my door let alone seen the goggle box in the lounge.

  6. Pete

    Maybe they have just sent a demand to every address that has no licence regardless ,on the assumption that every household has a TV.

  7. Yes maybe it is something like the TV license – but then you would have got a summons? Indeed no matter what it is you probably would have got a summons.

  8. i thought that they could detect a working television inside a building from a van outside without ever entering.

    Every time a TV or radio is on, it transmits a signal ever so slightly as well as receiving one.

  9. Phantom

    I always took those TV detector vans that you used to see on the streets of Britain with a pinch of salt. I don;t how effective that technology was , or if it was really just a gimmick designed to ‘scare’ licence dodgers .

  10. There definitely is a faint signal that is emitted — from any TV or radio – when I was in the Navy they told us this – and if they pass in front of the building at night, they can also observe the distinctive flicker from a TV screen.

    In secure spaces, they do not allow you to play the radio, for that reason. Under the right circumstance, it was thought, your voice could be transmitted by that signal. Serious.

  11. Frank O’Dwyer –

    Both a summons and any notice I’d been found guilty (plus any payment chasers) have passed me by. The Royal Mail can’t be that useless – can they?

    Phantom –

    Signals can be detected but the technology isn’t as great as they let on and still an inspector needs to enter the home and see any TV for there to be enough evidence for a prosecution.

  12. Is it an unpaid fine? I heard on the radio they’re clamping down on fines not paid and going back thirty – yes thirty- years. Apparently they’ve lost something like millions as these fines have simply lain there, but not anymore…..

    Pound to a penny thats what it is.

  13. So they are finally getting tough on crime.

  14. I imagine you’ll keep us updated on your struggle for justice.

  15. Yeah, Ross, and Pete is about to get his collar felt 😉

  16. Where’s a decent commie human rights lawyer when you want one?

    Knowing my luck, I’ll drive past a bored copper in the morning who just happens to be fiddling with his on-board number plate recognition thingy.

  17. So Pete tell us, what fine is outstanding? lol. Are you on the run ? Ex-IRA? eh what!! C’mon you petty ex-yoof spit it out!!

  18. "Where’s a decent commie human rights lawyer when you want one?"

    You called? lol

    What all info did you get with the summons?

  19. He’s gone, on the run already.

  20. Something about a misunderstanding in the Park?

    Free Pete Moore!

    Don’t get picked up on a Friday if there is a warrant, here in NYC that would keep you in the big house over the weekend.

  21. I think it’s just a forceful reminder from the Socialiist Workers Party that Pete hasn’t paid his subscription for a couple of years..

  22. The same in England Mahons

  23. Even the Trots wouldn’t send a summons Colm.

    They would just murder him in his sleep instead

  24. When’s the last time the SWP killed anyone Gaskin?

    At least they are not sellout capitulators like SF.

  25. I’m sure for Pete there are worse fates.. such as being sent on a compulsory ‘diversity and cultural awareness’ course

  26. He’s gone AWOL.

  27. Colm –

    Having been on one "diversity awareness training" course (and ticked off for my less than respectful attitude) I can assure you I know what a cruel and unusual punishment is.

    Chris Gaskin –

    I didn’t receive any summons. I’m not aware of the crime. I didn’t receive any notice of conviction. Tonight I found a letter stating that since I haven’t ponied up £140 a warrant has been issued for my arrest.

    Of course, a reference number and payment details are provided, including the automated 24 hour stump up now line, but there’s not a word about the who/what/where/how or why it came about.

  28. Pete

    You don’t have to be convicted of a crime for a bench warrant to be issued for your arrest, a simple secondment from court can be enough to earn you such a prize.

    When you say "found" was it a letter you received today or an old letter you found in a drawer?

  29. Chris Gaskin –

    It was a letter delivered today. Strangely, it would be more amusing if I found it at the bottom of a drawer, but this is hot off the press.

  30. I’m surprised there wasn’t more info with the letter,it’s not something I have ever seen before.

  31. Does the letter imply that you won’t be arrested if you pay up pronto? If so, it’s almost certainly a scam.
    If you’re definitely going to be arrested, then the police will come and arrest you. They won’t post you a letter first, alerting you to the fact. Indeed, any letter from the courts, or from anyone, demanding money from you, can only state that failure to cough up may be deemed an offence, which carries a maximum sentence of [blah blah] upon conviction. They have no authority to tell you that the police will arrest you; that is up to the police alone to decide.

  32. Could it be a hoax?

  33. It’s all legit, from the magistrate’s court.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if G is close to the mark and the word has gone out to maximise the income/collect the fines.

  34. Stealing Oxygen perhaps.

  35. 24 hours later, and you’re evidently still at large. I somehow think this must be some sort of hoax, but seriously, if you’ve done something illegal and you know it, then walk into a police station and turn yourself in. We’re not quite in 1984 territory yet, though it certainly seems to be approaching. I’ve had a few casual ‘on the road’ dealings with the Plod recently, and OK, they’ve been a bit overbearing at first, but once you explain yourself and talk to them, you actually find out that they’re every bit as pissed off as you are with the way they’re being forced to act, these days.

  36. Go on Pete, hand yourself in. A stint in the clink will be fuel for some great new posts from you 😉

  37. The more I think about this the more I think its a hoax.

    If a warrant was issued wouldn’t they serve the warrant on him personally? Instead of sending a letter making reference to the warrant?

  38. Chaps –

    It’s legit.

    I called the number today on the letterhead and it’s the magistrate court. That’s all I could find out however; when I offered the reference number in exchange for info on what I’ve apparently done I was told the person I need to speak to is away.

    Oh the glory of public bureaucracy.

    I have an image of being nicked this weekend because the person I need to speak to is on leave.

  39. Wow.

    It was nice knowing you 🙂

  40. Pete,

    There’s a discussion with a guy who got exactly the same summons here (see Sunday 21 June 14:42)

  41. Pete,

    There’s a discussion with a guy who got exactly the same summons here (see Sunday 21 June 14:42)