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An Inspector Calls, and Calls….

By Mike Cunningham On March 11th, 2011

“Police Emergency, who is calling?”

“There’s a man who has fallen into the boating lake in Gosport. He seems to be in trouble!”

“First of all, sir, Can I have your name, address, home telephone number, family details, sexual preferences, ethnic origins, religious orientation, if any, and details of your work history and background? I also need to know if you have been trained in Risk Management, or ever attended a Health & Safety course beyond stage 3?”

“What the hell are you talking about? I am telling you that there’s a bloke drowning in the boating lake, and you want to know if I am a Queer, or Muslim, or if I’ve filled in a risk management sheet?”

“There is no need for you to get aerated, Sir. I need these details so we can complete our Diversity Action Report; which you must realise must be completed before any further action must be taken. I must further caution you against any further use of terms which may be insulting to members of either the ‘Gay’ or ‘Muslim’ communities. You should be aware that in terms of the Discrimination Acts of 2010, as amended, the Muslim community strongly dislikes any inference that any member of their community might be Gay, as it is against their religion; and furthermore that Members of the Gay community strongly disapprove of the term ‘Queer’, as they consider it derogatory and demeaning!”

“You stupid prick! I called to report that a man was in danger of drowning! He is now motionless, head down in the water; and you are warning me that I might upset some wild-eyed Islamic nut-case by calling him a Queer!”

“Kindly provide me with your personal details, as requested before, as I feel I must now caution you over the use of provocative and insulting language! Hello, caller….Hello, caller, can you hear me?”

4 Responses to “An Inspector Calls, and Calls….”

  1. I can assure you, all this politicaly correct madness, which now borders on mental illness, is down to one organisation, and one organisation only ..’ Common purpose ‘

  2. The real story is that police refused to enter a –two foot deep! — lake to rescue a man face down in the water –and not the first such story linked to on these pages.

    The linked story shows the new learned helplessness of British police these days. What a shame. The very job of police and rescue services is to go into harms way in the service of the public.

    When Bill Bratton became NYPD Commissioner he said to his men ” We will be sailing in harm’s way as we take back this city together.” I don’t think that the Gosport police chief said that to his men.

  3. I have said it many times before:
    the Police are now a proud extension of Social Services.
    They are not there to tackle crime
    No Sir!
    They are there to ensure that Health and Safety procedures are carried out TO THE LETTER excepting
    Hefnic Minorities
    who are hentitled to hignore British Law…
    Hoh Yesss,
    On the grounds that it might hoffend their religious and cultural sensibilities
    STAND STILL when I am addressing you…
    HiI don’t care WHAT your father fought for in the War…
    He’s not here
    and I AM!
    The Police Force has been corrupted and defanged, so that they are now USELESS except as a tool of the State…

  4. Hear hear.