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‘Twas the Night after Christmas…….”

By ATWadmin On December 8th, 2006

holly.jpegIn the true spirit of the forthcoming festivities, A.T.W. is introducing a Party Game or Contest, but of course, because this is a Political Commentary Blog, it shall be subtly different to the normal party games, where you have to guess a tune, or a name, or indeed who you may just have kissed, (under the mistletoe, of course; where else would you be kissing complete strangers?).

Our game, which shall be called ‘Party Proposals’, allows the contestants to choose, firstly, which Party they, or their Nominee will be leading, (if ‘leading’ be the appropriate term) from both the Main and Minor Parties at present operating in this United Kingdom. The Leader shall then be responsible for the production of the ‘Party Manifesto’ summarised in TEN bullet points for easier digestion by the average voter, whose mental powers are judged to be those similar to a MINK, or any other small, voracious wild mammal whose only thoughts are for it’s own survival and comfort! The Manifesto itself shall of course cover the main areas of discontent, and, while the editor appreciates that time is of the essence, approximate costings will play a small but significant part in the placing of the Winner at the gates of Buckingham Palace, on their way to be asked by Her Majesty to form Her Government.

The date of the General Election, which has just been announced as a result of the defeat of the Blair Government during the No-Confidence debate caused by the revelations of cash-for-peerages enquiries, during which several politicians actually told the truth for the first time, has been set as January 5th, setting Boxing Day as the date by which all the Manifestos will be judged. So the Contestants have just under three weeks to clear their political calendars, select their new Cabinets, firm up their proposals and submit Party Manifesto’s for the scrutiny of the Editor of this post, whose decision, of course; besides being binding, is only subject to the pressures of normal politicians: namely bribery, corrupt practices, large slush-fund payments and big presents!

Rules are as follows:-

Each Manifesto proposal shall include Party Name, Party Leader, and the Ten Manifesto Points. Costings for main proposals optional but desirable!

Each contestant is allowed to select one Party only, and multiple applications will be firmly dealt with! (Punishments shall be along the lines of a date with Cherie or Tony; or Peter if you turn the other cheek!)

As in the previous competition; humour, acid or otherwise, is welcomed! Contestants are warned (advised) that my own political favourites include such diverse organisations and individuals as the Monster Raving Loonies and Robin Page, along with Frank Field, Gwyneth Dunwoody and Ann Widdecombe. Contestants should also remember that some proposals once considered truly wild are in force today!

Contestants should be aware that access to political figures both dead or alive (allegedly) is allowed, as is the proposal of a fictional figure,  for the Party Leader’s position!

So what are you waiting for? The Prize, that’s what you are waiting for, you greedy shower! The winner shall receive a .PDF file copy of one of my immortal novels, along with the chance of submitting a Guest Post on A Tangled Web!

On with the motley!


7 Responses to “‘Twas the Night after Christmas…….””

  1. Mike I’m not sure I understand. Why do we need to stick to real parties? Are we meant to have policies that such a party would come up with?

  2. Aileen,

    If you wanna’ start your own Party, good luck to you! You may well be on a winner, If your policies can strike a chord with me, who knows?

  3. RIGHT, I’m up for the challenge!

    My Party is the REAL CONSERVATIVE PARTY.- here’s our policy points.

    1. Elimination of the Welfare State.
    2. Leave the EU
    3. Ban the Burqa and close down all dodgy Mosques.
    4. Enforce all borders, deport all illegals.
    5. Build bigger prisons and make them places for punishment.
    6. Privatise the NHS AND Education.
    7. Arrest Irish Republican insurrectionists
    8. Reduce taxation in half, to start with. This will be funded easily by point 1.
    9. Abolish the BBC license fee.
    10.Reinstate capital punishment.

  4. I’m going to take ove the Natural Law Party and inbetween all the yogic flying my manifesto is as follows

    1 Divert 1% of the budget on diversity issues into neurodiversity action to provide real equality of opportunity to that neglected 10% of the population. This to cover educating those who should know, teachers, doctors police and magistrates and those in employment on the public sector. Plus research projects in to the corelation to suicide, depression and representation in the Criminal Justice system,

    2 Repeal most of the equality legislation for the private sector, but make the penalties stiffer in the public sector, for unfair discrimination. The private sector should be allowed to be as inefficient as it chooses but any company discriminating unfairly would be automatically disqualified for all public sector contracts.

    3 FPTP replace by STV at general elections and the principle of majority rule established throughout the UK.

    4 Finding some way of telling Brussels to stuff it. If we like their laws we can introduce them ourselves

    5 When any government minister is shown to have lied he should have to make all of his statements in the House with a big sign pointing to him recounting the lie for the following year, unless he resigns.

    6 An Empowering the Vulnerable programme, with a particular focus on children. To include beefing up Childline. No society that wants to progress can afford to turn a blind eye to the suffering of its children. Apart form the humanitarian imperative, the more children that we can prevent getting twisted in youthm the less chance there is that one of them will mug me when they get into adulthood and I manage to live to be an old lady.

    7 Education focused on the needs and potential of the children as opposed to the requirements of the National curriculum. More effort into screening children for hidden disabilities and hidden abilities and focus on developing the potential and management of the difficulties. Relaxation techniques etc taught in schools.

    8 Full review of the public sector, weeding out people who are too think/incompetent to do their jobs properly and who are a barrier to others getting on with theirs. Some effort gone into finding them jobs and careers where they will at least not do any damage, either to their colleagues or in terms of compromising the effectiveness of the public service they were being paid to support.

    9 Provision of umbrellas by government. umbrellas available in cloakrooms buses tubes and taxis, so you never have to worry about losing the damned things.

    10 Going to borrow it from the Monster Raving Looney Party – introduce a 99p coin to save in the change,

    All of the abpve will be finaced by the money saved/generated by no 1 & 8.

  5. Can’t limit myself to bullet points ;o)

  6. David – 7 and 10 go so well together 🙂

    But I assume you’ll also be arresting the likes of Ervine ?

    Smoking will be reinstated as a national sport.

    Chocolate will be declared a vegetable and a human right.

    Thongs will be banned.

  7. As I am running the competition, I cannot enter the damn thing, so the following should be regarded as just me thinking about it!!

    The New Cromwell Party

    Oliver Cromwell, who has only very recently re-entered politics after a very long absence in private life, has re-formed his Political Juggernaut and Model Army, last seen in the glory days of the Republic; and has decided to attempt a reform of his beloved British Isles in the image once seen as the guiding light of progress and innovation! Whilst coming anew to a Constitutional Monarchy, he believes it the best compromise so far! He has attracted considerable support from Political thinkers and activists, and has gained sufficient funds to field a list of over four hundred candidates country-wide! Following from this announcement is the Cromwell Manifesto, upon which the new Party will be fighting the General Election due in January.

    ● There shall be a change in the entire Tax System, to a Flat Tax collection; with a collection start at £12,500.00; and set at a rate of 23%.

    ● The full panoply of Human Rights legislation shall be abolished, as is access to the UN Refugee Legislation.

    ● All files and documentation subject to the 30 year-rule, shall be made freely available to all callers, with the sole exception of ‘Top Secret’ classified documents.

    ● All QUANGO’s would be dissolved immediately upon the Cromwell Party gaining a majority.

    ● A Life Sentence shall mean ‘Life’, and all prisons shall be stripped of frivolities such as televisions, games rooms, etc., so that criminals understand their place in Society!

    ● All types of Devolved Government, whether in Wales, Northern Ireland or Scotland will be dissolved, and Westminster shall take back all those Powers devolved to the former regions! No Foreign Government shall have any further say in any portion of this United Kingdom, especially in the Province of Northern Ireland!

    ● The present Armed Forces supply policy shall be “Judged fit for Purpose”, as nothing but the best is suitable for people who go into ‘harm’s way’ in the service of their Country!

    ● All ‘politically-correct’ working decisions & hiring practices, equal-rights schemes based purely on so-called ‘affirmative action’ would be terminated immediately the New Cromwell Party assumed power. All persons having prior access to positions gained under such rules shall be deemed to have been hired under unfair conditions, and have to re-apply for the job!

    ● The New Cromwell Party would, on assumption of power, immediately entrain a withdrawal process in Iraq, and the troops previously stationed there would transfer to Afghanistan. A more muscular policy of engagement, inclusive of the destruction of all poppy fields, would be a priority of this force, and the further destruction of the Taliban would be second only to this!

    ● All foreign religious preachers of the Islamic persuasion would immediately be deported, as we have enough problems with our own bunch, without having a second set of clowns poking their noses where they are not wanted!