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By Pete Moore On May 2nd, 2019

I pulled up at home tonight and glanced down the road at the village hall. “Polling Station” a sign said. Okey dokey, let’s do a vote thing. It’s the local elections today, where we decide which puffed up nonentities will fail to collect the rubbish and fill the potholes. In I go, and two men look up at me from a desk. They have the look of men who haven’t seen anyone all day. I get the ballot paper and walk to a booth. The paper has three candidates: one Tory, one Labour and one LibDem.

So that’s the anti-democratic, jew-hating, EU-jihadist eco-nutter vote catered for, but what’s in it for me?

I reflect that I’m a patriot, a man of conservative and real, classical liberal instincts. The kind of man who built the Empire, the greatest thing that ever happened to an undeserving world. The kind kind of man who built ships and mines and towns. The kind of man who took the Word of the Lord to primitive peoples and improved them. The kind of man who defended our shores and homes from previous attempts to unify Europe under one flag.

Yes, I thought, I’m a moderate Englishman, the backbone of the country. I am the voice of reason and I cannot vote for any of these extremist, rogue factions.

So I drew a hairy cock across the page and popped it in the box.

22 Responses to “DUTY CALLED, DUTY DONE”

  1. The kind of people who are attracted to local politics are the very worst of Britons. In Scotland, as over the UK, the money paid by locals for government services is siphoned off into council pensions, which leaves little for libraries, roads, refuse collection – and these services are visibly worsening. Soon, local authorities will offer no services, and all local tax shall be levied to collect money solely for the pesnions funds of these leeches

  2. Yeah, you certainly have something in common with the imperialists, they loved a bit of sexual deviancy as well.

  3. Pete

    I’m surprised that you are still on the voter register. I left it about 20 years ago and have never looked back. We got canvassed tonight and nothing gets rid of them quicker than telling them that you are not on the register and the wife is out.

  4. Yeah sure you did Pete !

  5. Shame on you if you did do that.

  6. PS just to be clear, my last comment was in response to Pete Moore’s claims of what he did at the polling station.

  7. A better protest vote is to do what I did at the last presidential election.

    I voted for myself as a write in candidate for president of the United States (really)

    I fell a little short in the vote tally, but maybe next time.

  8. Peter –

    I put myself back on the register for the EU referendum. It seems I still linger there.

    Colm –

    I don’t know where you’re from, but in my country a hairy cock on a ballot paper will always be funny. Phantom doesn’t like it, but they’re puritans at heart over there.

  9. I had two choices..Tory / Labour. I wrote “None of these”. Pointless but satisfying.

  10. I put myself back on the register for the EU referendum.

    Yes Pete, if we end up with a second referendum I may do the same. It’s disgraceful that the first one has not been implemented.

  11. That’ll probably be because of Brexit’s massive majority, people like Pete were telling us leave meant the EEA whereas other leavers like yourself want leave but stay withing the CU Peter?

    Yep, it’s a disgrace alright. It should have been negotiated prior to any referendum being held, much like the GFA was, so people could see what they were voting for.

  12. Paul

    I think there is still a chance that Brexit might happen before the EU elections this month. It would be great to see the wind taken from Farage’s sails. The deal would include a customs union, but the Brexiteer Tories should have nothing to fear from that:

    “Much is made of the constraints a customs union would place on the UK signing new trade deals. Firstly, these constraints are exaggerated – yes, we would not be able to independently vary our tariffs in order to implement comprehensive trade deals covering goods, but we would be free to sign deals covering services, investment, data and so on. And in any case, while trade deals can be an important diplomatic tool, their economic benefits are often overstated. The government’s own analysis found that new trade deals with countries including the USA, China, India, Australia and New Zealand would only provide a long-term increase of 0.2 per cent to 0.7 per cent of GDP. Furthermore, the EU itself has recently signed trade deals with Canada, Japan and South Korea, and deals with Australia and New Zealand are likely to follow in the next few years. In general, EU average tariffs are low, and it also operates preferential and zero-tariff regimes for trade with many developing countries. With all that in mind, the only real potential prizes from an independent UK trade policy are the USA, China and India, all of which would be very difficult deals to do in practice.

    With this in mind, it seems that the customs union refuseniks are missing the wood for the trees. The prospect of signing new trade deals was not the main driver of the 2016 Leave vote – most polling showed that while voters liked the idea of trade deals, immigration and sovereignty were much more important to them. The Prime Minister’s deal addresses those two key concerns – we would be out of the EU’s political project, regain control of immigration, and take back control of most of our laws within the next 2 to 3 years. Fundamentally, Brexit is a process, not an event, and Conservative MPs need to decide where their priorities lie. Set against the risk of no Brexit at all, is waiting a little longer to do trade deals really so bad?”


  13. Nah, Pete, drawing a scrotum on a votum may give a momentary pleasure, but really, no-one will see it. It’ll simply be dropped in the “spoiled” box (and who knows these days, perhaps your voting number will be noted down for future reference, for when there’s real tyranny. Can’t be long now…)
    No, it’s got to be loud and in their faces. As per 23 June 16 when I voted “Leave” – I walked out of the polling station, threw a clenched fist in the air and exclaimed “Death to the EU! Socialist scum!”
    A burly, hairy-chested (or so I imagined) fellow in front of me swung round and faced me, his face ablaze. For a moment I considered saying “Yes, er well what I actually meant was, err…” But he thrust out his hand and shook mine, saying “Yesss!” And we laughed and shook hands heartily, much to the seething annoyance of the public sector muppets around us, all of whose pay-packets come direct from my wallet. That was a real morale-boosting moment.

  14. As per 23 June 16 when I voted “Leave” – I walked out of the polling station, threw a clenched fist in the air and exclaimed “Death to the EU! Socialist scum!”


    I would expect no less from you. Scum is a great word.

  15. I’m pro-Brexit, but this is depressing:

    “40% of Leavers feel that to be ‘truly’ British, it’s very important that both of your parents are born in the UK. So Lenny Henry isn’t truly British; Andrew Adonis isn’t; David Baddiel isn’t; I’m not; Geri Halliwell isn’t; PRINCE PHILIP isn’t…”


  16. 99% of leavers are regressive intolerant ignorant narrow minded bigots. Peter is the exception 😉

  17. Hell forget Prince Phillip, who himself was not born in the UK. That means that Prince Charles, the forelock tuggers future King, is not British.

  18. It also means that Boris Johnson’s kids, Nigel Farage’s kids, and Tommy Robinson himself, are not British.

  19. And you can add “ Son of an Irish Mammy” Pete Moore to that illustrious list of filthy foreigners 😉🇨🇮

  20. if you don’t do your duty to vote then whatever you have to say about anything means nothing.

    The only voice that counts is your vote.

  21. Pete Moore did vote. He took Phantoms advice and wrote himself in on the ballot except he did it in image form 😉

  22. Good, Colm, and correct.

    // I’m a patriot, a man of conservative and real, classical liberal instincts. …The kind of man who took the Word of the Lord to primitive peoples…

    I drew a hairy cock across the page and popped it in the box.//

    So any young lady working on tallying the votes will know that there’s at least one Conservative man and Christian missionary type left.

    Looks like the Tories are in complete meltdown in the England local elections. 800 seats lost so far and still counting.