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ROSEANNE FOR PRESIDENT?

By ATWadmin On January 30th, 2009

I see that renowned political scientist and erstwhile comedienne Roseanne Bar has come up with a solution for the Middle East…

“I am going to move to israel and run for president there and win. When I am elected, I will make peace for my people and help to turn Israel into the socialist paradise that German and Russian Jews meant for it to be. I would first pay all the palestinians really well and give them self determination. I would beg America to broker a peace deal between we israelis and all our neighbors. I would ask the UN nations to send alot of it’s chinese soldiers to patrol the streets of all cities in the region as peacekeepers. I would invite the pope and all christian doctines as well as mormonism to invest in jerusalem to make it a center of peaceful technologies. I would make Jerusalem the INTERNATIONAL CITY OF BROTHERHOOD AND PEACE exactly as my people’s holy books instruct them to do. I would ask Hashem to be in control and not me..”

Anyone remember back when she was funny?

18 Responses to “ROSEANNE FOR PRESIDENT?”

  1. She writes like she is 11, not an adult.

  2. Works for me.

  3. She was NEVER funny, so no "remember back" required here.

  4. Geoff:

    "She was NEVER funny"

    So she’s unfunny here? Works even better for me.

  5. "I would ask the UN nations to send alot of it’s chinese soldiers to patrol the streets of all cities in the region as peacekeepers." Will these "peacekeepers" be the same soldiers that have brutalised the Tibetans in a very real (unlike the so called occupation of "Palestine") occupation for the past 58 years?

  6. Ah give her a chance. Everyone’s entitled to a comeback. ‘Roseanne does the Middle East’ could turn out to be a classic comedy 😉

  7. "turn Israel into the socialist paradise that German and Russian Jews meant for it to be"

    Does she mean as they did in Russia and East Germany? those wonderful examples of a socialist paradise…

  8. Ernest:

    I didn’t know the Jews ruled the roost in Russia and East Germany. Must bone up on my history.

  9. Barry

    Ernest is referring to the idea of socialism creating a paradise rather then the religion/race of the creators.

  10. Irish Barry,

    I guess you have never heard of Lenin or Marx, both originally followers of the Jewish faith.

    The former was head of the Soviet Union, and the former was one of the founding fathers of the socilaist movement and philosophy.

    Please do read some history, and you will find that there is, and always has been a large contingent of those of the Jewish faith involved in the formulation of socialist thinking.

    It may well be a factor in the almost universal failure of countries that adopt that philosophy…

  11. Colm:

    I was being deliberately obtuse. Did you know that Stalin was a rabbi?

  12. Irish Barry,

    Who said Stalin was a rabbi? You really should read some history, instead of making it up as you go…

    Or do you just lie by habit?

  13. Ernest:

    "Who said Stalin was a rabbi?"

    I did.

  14. IB,

    As I thought, you lie!

  15. Ernest:

    Guilty.

  16. Don’t be so serious Ernest, IB was just being flippant.

    And so am I:

    Paddy called by on his next door neighbour, a Rabbi, and noticed him stripping off the wallpaper.
    "Ah, my good friend, a bit of home DIY is it?"

    "No, we’re moving".

  17. It may well be a factor in the almost universal failure of countries that adopt that philosophy…’

    Socialism has hardly failed. The Scandinavian countries have faired quite well, as have most European countries that have adopted socialist beliefs.

    Communism has failed, i would agree, but, that does not mean that the whole Marxist philosophy is destined to fail. Anarchism, for example, is a philosophy that theoretically has a lot of potential.

  18. Wasn’t the Kibbutzim system – everyone a soldier-worker-musician, etc. – a variant/development of European socialism?

    And wasn’t it precisely that flexible social organization, particularly in its early phase (and long before massive subvention by the U.S), which secured the state of Israel?

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