Moderate Islam…..Libya style
Homosexuals will still be killed by hanging, but the executions will be in private.
Adulterous women will still be sentenced to death by stoning, but the size of the stones will be rigorously checked; no bricks will be allowed, because of the sharp edges which could cause bleeding and unconsciousness before the requisite amount of suffering had been endured. The sand in which these criminals against Islam will be buried to the shoulders must have been sieved to ISO 3310 (1999), ASTM E 11-70 (1995), DIN 4188 (1977), BS 410 (1986) and AFNOR NFX11-501 (1987) requirements
The wearing of Burqas by women will be compulsory, but all garments must be of natural fibres, to comply with our Carbon Limiting ideals.
The Caliphate will still be our aim, and Jihad our hope; but because we cannot compete with NATO on armaments, we will ensure that the production of suicide bombers carry-on kits will be ramped-up.
The fact that we owe our very existence as an Islamic nation to Western technology, weaponry and brave airmen, sailors and special forces of the NATO nations will be forgotten very quickly, and they will be given no dispensation on our trade, oil and political decisions.
We reject entirely the very idea that the murderous attack upon a British policewoman should be the cause for a Libyan national to be extradited to a Western nation. According to our own Islamic ideals, and of course peace to the very whisper of our Founder’s name, she should not have been out of her home, besides being dressed in a provocative manner; and even attempting to marshal and stop crowds of those dupes who were demonstrating in front of our former Beloved Leader’s embassy. Our Libyan brother who gave the order to fire upon the uniformed capitalist thugs was only acting in accord with the basic tenets of our Religion, and therefore can be said to have done no wrong!
We will shortly be creating our own nuclear technology centre, where a fast approach to nuclear power station building will be commenced, as well as the building of a facility to concentrate uranium to fissionable purity. We will be inviting our fraternal brethren from Iran to share their own ideals of this technology, which of course will be for purely peaceful uses.
We will be developing strong ties with the revolutionary leaders of Hamas, as well as the People’s Front of Judea, when we can locate the leadership!