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By ATWadmin On December 1st, 2006

This is good…my thanks to the ATW regular who sent me it!Harassment.

In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in England and
said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the
end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good

He gave Noah the CAD drawings, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark
before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard but no

"Noah!" He roared, "I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed Building
Regulations Approval. I’ve been arguing with the Fire Brigade about the need for
a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I should have obtained planning
permission for building the Ark in my garden because it is development of the
site even though in my view it is a temporary structure. We had to go to appeal
to the Secretary of State for a decision.

Then the Department of Transport demanded a bond be posted for the future costs
of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for
the Ark’s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but
they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. All the decent trees have Tree
Preservation Orders on them and we live in a Site of Special Scientific Interest
set up in order to protect the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls – but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA sued me. They insisted that I
was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was
too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a
confined space.

Then the County Council, the Environment Agency and the Rivers Authority ruled
that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact
study on your proposed flood.

I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission
on how many BMEs I’m supposed to hire for my building team.

The trades unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire onfiltered
workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, Customs and Excise seized all my assets, claiming I’m
trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you’re
not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

Amen to that!

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