21 3 mins 8 yrs

Men, the time has come to take a last stand. Womens groups in a number of countries are pushing for toilet policy in which men would sit while urinating. I am not taking the piss here, as such a movement has found roots in such different countries as Germany and Taiwan. We men must put a lid on this movement.

The controversy has its origin in the age old gender dispute of whether to leave the toilet seat up or down. Women, having fallen in to chilly bowls or witnessed less than dry seating have started to take serious action. I put aside arguments as to efficiency and health, each of which has supporters clearly divided along the Adam and Eve line. But I would argue that men risk emasculation by being forced to give up one of the last thresholds of machismo – namely peeing standing up. Damn it, we can write our names in the snow, are we going to give up this last refuge of manhood?

Let us face the fact that we men all think we have better aim than we do and often pee with the seat down. Especially late at night when the twin benefits of light and sobriety may not available to enhance our efforts. We must concede the obvious. I imagine this would be a less than attractive spectacle for the female of the species when next visiting the porcelain chambers. I also note with regret the insult and injury I have caused various female relations, lovers, and random women by failing to lower the seat causing them to splash down in the water like an Apollo Spaceship returning to Earth (the moon analogy must be forgiven).

However, I think that given out nature we men are unable to change. Banish our cigars to the woods, take the remote to watch Reality Dancing Shows instead of John Wayne Film Festivals, but please allow us the remaining dignity of standing while peeing. To steal a slogan from Irish nationalists – Up the Lids!

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21 thoughts on “Game of Thrones

  1. The ” gender equality ” people in Europe are simply insane.

    You saw the NYT article last week where the Berlin authorities will only do street namings/renamings which honor women now, and that they will continue to do so until there is a 50-50 gender equality in streetnames there?

  2. I had not seen that article. Good stuff. Although I must admit that since Berlin has a street named after Frank Zappa the women may at least have a valid complaint.

    I love finding out the origins of street names. Best book on the subject in a particular city is about New Orleans, “Frenchmen Desire Good Children” (each word a street name in the City).

  3. The Germans are insane.

    They asked the Jewish Museum in Berlin to propose a name for a new square nearby.

    The museum proposed Moses Mendelssohn, the philosopher.

    The authorities said no, since he was a man, and they were behind on the female place name quota.

    They ” compromised ” by naming the square Fromet-and-Moses Mendelssohn Platz
    ( Moses M and his wife Fromet )

    You can’t make this up.

  4. Thanks Paul, we have a street named after U2 in New York (despite their song Where The Streets Have No Name).

    May I point out the lack of controversy about this post of mine, perhaps I’ve found the key to consensus on ATW.

  5. I’ve found the key to consensus on ATW

    Yes, but it only comes in spurts.

    Street named after U2? Jebus, and I always thought NYC to be a cool place.

  6. The street is not really named after them. NYC is now plagued with ” honorary names ” for many streets. The U2 street name is an honorary one.

    The real name remains the same, but there is an alternate name for a celebrity, a dead politician, a 9/11 victim. This bad practice has greatly accelerated under Mayor Nanny. It serves to confuse visiting motorists and accomplishes no other purpose.


  7. I preferred Germans when they were proud of themselves.

    This is the triumph of liberalism, cultural Marxism and state worship. It has completely cowed and pussified the Western male.

  8. Any town of over 100,000 has several bands better than U2.

    A few ok anthem songs early on, then endless coasting after that.

  9. Paul – New York has honored many dubious persons with street names, why we have a Vance Street and a Moore Street…..

  10. I think that overrated was invented for U2;

    As for their singer, I’s quite happily pass the rest of my days smashing his face in with a shovel.

    We have a Vance Street and a Moore Street…..

    Those two names together in the same city? A truly terrifying thought Phantom.

  11. They even complain when, out of respect for their concerns, we use the sink.

  12. There are more than a few curiosities about street names in Dublin. I’ve forgotton most, but some that I remember are that the Soviet embassy was on Orwell Road, Vico Road is circular, and Giambatista Vico was the Italian philosopher who presented the circular view of history.

    George Bernard Shaw was born on Synge St, and JM Synge was born on Shaw Street.

    Henry Street, Earl Street, Moore Street and Drogheda Street were all named by a 17th C gent after himself. His vanity was such that he didn’t even want the Of in his title Earl of Drogheda left out, so he called a lane „Of Lane“.

    Kevin Street is a small street, but it used to hold the town house of the Archbishop of Dublin, a large Garda barracks and the headquarters of the IRA.

    The only thing similar I know from Belfast is – characteristically dark – that Billy Reid, the man who shot Gunner Curtis, the first British solidier to die in the Troubles, was later shot dead on Curtis Street.

  13. I sometimes sit down to urinate- not to make a political statement, just because my armchair’s so comfortable.

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