2 3 mins 9 yrs

I have come to a crossroads in my life. I have overcome many obstacles in my time here on this Earth, but have to confess that there is but one thing which has defeated me entirely.

I am not a gambler, as I have always considered that I have worked far too hard to earn my cash. I lived and worked for three weeks non-stop during start-up operations at a casino complex in South Africa; and my wife and I placed the total equivalent of £3.00 in to the ever-ready slot machines which packed the huge mirror-glazed central hall, whilst ‘winning’ the equivalent of £2.75. The casino’s developer growled that he was more than happy that not too many of his visitors would be like me.

When younger, I used to drink a fair bit, but after marrying and commencing a family, I virtually stopped, as booze and family life do not mix well. I enjoy an occasional glass of wine, but forget when last I tasted any spirits at all.

I have never, ever, sampled, tried or experimented with illegal drugs of any type, calibre or origin, and honestly cannot comprehend the mindset, or rather lack of mindset of those who would promote or enrich themselves through substances which could have life-changing or -threatening consequences. I suppose that would make me old-fashioned, or ‘square’, or unadventurous. Place me firmly in the column marked ‘prefers to retain self-control above all others’; and that would be about correct as far as I am concerned. Everyone else can do as they wish, but leave me and mine when canvassing for support of ‘legal’ or ‘illegal highs’, as I don’t believe that such ephemera exists.

As I stated at the beginning of this small confession there is, however, one small item which has me forever in its grasp; I cannot shake off the need, the desire, the terrible urge to consume as many of the dread items as I can purchase, and I see no end to the craving which has me in its all-encompassing grasp!


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2 thoughts on “Ashamed and stricken…

  1. There used to be a guy commenting here who had an issue with drugs. Does anyone know what happened him?

  2. Mike,
    Only the originals are pleasant enough though not addictive as in your case. Perhaps it is the old Grandfather Syndrome” in which old men feel compelled to fill their pockets with them so as to recruit young grandchildren. “one day my child, you too will feel the call..”

    In view of your impressive self control re drink I think you could be forgiven for becoming a pusher for Werthers. I smoked heavily for six years, started regular drinking at 47 and went on to become quite good at it.
    In the battle with weight there is no doubt in my mind that real ale, wine and brandy pile on the calories.
    With you I suspect that pockets full of Werthers are your downfall in the waist stakes.
    I have throttled back a fair bit with alcohol, but I don’t think I will ever stop it completely.

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