14 2 mins 9 yrs

CaptureYou can always see the people who don’t think about their driving on the motorway. I don’t mean about where they’re going, or where to turn off. I mean about their driving and how it affects others. People who don’t use their mirrors to see what’s behind or beside them, who don’t adjust the pressure on the loud pedal in anticipation of the uphill bit just beginning, and who don’t get up to speed before joining the motorway (this one really winds me up).

Chief among them are the dopey middle lane hoggers. Some of them are plain arrogant, presuming to demonstrate to others how very safe they are by doing 65mph. Listen wallies, it’s not safe at all to trail a mile of frustrated drivers off your rear bumper, all desperate to get past the tosser (that’s you) doing 65mph. Just as bad are those who sit with their chin 6 inches from the steering wheel, completely unaware of the chaos they’re causing all around because they’re not looking, not thinking and oblivious of the empty lane on their left – which you’re supposed to move into when you can! Bah.

Even though middle lane hoggers drive me up the wall, I absolutely disagree with the idea of fining them. It’s a daft idea which will be arbitrarily imposed. The idea of owing the state money for driving badly is insane. Self-policing is the way to do it. It’s perfectly acceptable to flash them, toot them and give them the archer’s salute as you go by. These are the soft social pressures which truly hold society together and keep the dopey in order.

And if that doesn’t work, we should ram them off the road.

Click to rate this post!
[Total: 0 Average: 0]


  1. Yes, slow lane-hoggers are a pain on motorways.

    But more ignorant by far are the confirmed never indicate brigade on the ordinary roads. Taxis are by far the worst offenders in this as in other road rudeness, and I never fail to point this out to them in the traditional manner, namely a short sharp horn blast.

  2. Not this time, unfortunately.

    This is a quick bidness trip to Houston.

    Today, we prepare for the meeting here and then dinner at a Tex-Mex place.

    Tomorrow, we meet up with the client and talk about the plan for next year. Then, back to the airport and fly back to LaGuardia.

    That’s all!

  3. Can someone clarify, does “middle lane” in the motorway context mean “the second of the three lanes on your side of the carriageway, ie, you have the slower lane to your left (UK) and the fastest lane to your right, and you are between them, in the middle lane”, or does it mean “the fastest lane, the one nearest to the middle of the entire six-lane dual carriageway”?

  4. …I’m guessing that “middle lane” means lane 2 (out of the three lanes in your direction), but I ask because before you can use terms such as “middle”, “off-side”, “near-side” etc, you need to define the reference point. Middle in terms of what? …Near-side?- nearest to what? – nearest to the outermost (left-most) part of the road, or nearest to the inner (right-most) part?

  5. Tom Tyler –

    Yes, middle as in the slowest lane to your left and the salesman’s lane to your right.

  6. Well if it’s enforced as well as the 100% completly successful ban on using mobile phones whilst driving laws….

    You can make all the laws you like. If they are never enforced what have you achieved? Nothing. Except looking good in the media – which is actually what they were seeking to do in the first place…..Mission accomplished!

    Blazing Saddles. Hedley Lamarr speaking to the Governor Mel Brooks. “We got to protect our phoney baloney jobs’..harrumph harrumph (chorus of harrumphs from the nearby coterie of sycophants) … Hey I didn’t get a harrumph from that guy. You better watch your ass fella!
    Surely thats how the Coallition runs Cabinets these days.

  7. Several comments from Daphne, Peter T and myself made last night are no longer here?

  8. Any trips to Europe planned for the summer, Phantom?

    Or any other interesting places?

  9. I am proocrastinating even more than usual about holidays.

    But a July London business trip may be in the cards….

Comments are closed.