12 3 mins 7 yrs

I have often thought that all human life, all the experiences of a varied, full, sometimes too exciting life: can be explained or catalogued within phrases and sentences which are self-explanatory:-

  • Your application has been approved, can you join the vessel Pacific Reliance in Liverpool?
  • ‘Play the drums? Me? Of course I can play the drums; Hic!’
  • ‘For better, for worse, in sickness and in health……’
  • ‘You have a healthy son’
  • ‘Your new son and your wife are both fine.’
  • ‘We shall call her ‘Alice.’
  • ‘You need to accept that your wife is very, very ill…’
  • ‘Your wife can go home with you today.’
  • “its just a short trip into Zambia, then on into the Congo; some friends of a mate of mine need some expert advice on High Voltage Switching. Its perfectly safe, there aren’t any problems where you are headed!’
  • ‘All you have to do is visit the Hwange Power Station in Zimbabwe for the mandatory Tender Site Visit.’
  • ‘and here is my Weapons Licence, and the balance payable so I may purchase and carry the legally-authorised revolver so chosen. I guarantee that I shall only use the weapon either in target practice at a registered gun range; or in defence of myself and my family’
  • ‘Your grandson Marco was born ten weeks prematurely.
  • ‘No worries, Marco is fine; he’s the noisy one in the corner.’
  • ‘Your wife needs treatment, as was demonstrated by her dissappearance, and you need to agree to commit her immediately!’
  • ‘Well, Mr. Cunningham; we removed all the mass of the sarcoma; and we are delighted to state that it was found not to be malignant. Sorry about the two-foot long scar across and down the front of your body!’
  • ‘Cystic fibrosis is a life-threatening disorder that causes severe damage to the lungs and digestive system. Your brother has about a week to live.’
  • ‘Your MRI was carried out this morning; your Doctor will know the results in about ten days.’



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12 thoughts on “Phases; and phrases.

  1. A life of ‘ups’ and ‘downs’, repeated with numerous variations for every human being who ever breathed.

    It is often called ‘Life’s rich tapestry’, and is what makes life interesting with its random mix of grief and joy.

    You do realise that with your comment you have just made the art of autobiography obsolete!

  2. Reminds me of something Woody Allen once said:

    “The most beautiful words in the English language to hear are not “I love you” but “It’s benign”.

  3. In my humble opinion, this just about sums it all up.

    “Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway”

    Simple, but true.

  4. Maybe I should take the Italian path too longevity…

    I should take up smoking and drinkng again.

    Why do the Italians live longer than us?

    What is it about the Italians? They smoke more than us, they earn less, their economy is in even worse shape than ours, they spend less on healthcare, and yet – they live longer. Not just a bit, but a whopping 18 months more on average.

    This should have the righteous drones fainting in droves .. good.

  5. The Italians almost never eat junk food. The don’t have fry-ups for breakfast and generally drink in moderation.

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